11 March 2011

Lack of Focus

If I were in school right now, "Mama Bee exhibits a lack of focus" would be written in big red letters on my report card. Or, neatly written in beautiful kindergarten-teacher penmanship after "Mama Bee is a delight to have in class, and is a bit of a social butterfly." (Yes, my kindergarten report card said I was a social butterfly. Blame it on being bored?)

I'm lacking focus, and it's driving me nuts. I have a billion projects in the works, but it feels like nothing is getting done. I'm in the thick of a big contracted (read: for pay!) sewing project, but still have a ways to go before it'll be done. I made a good start on my tribal bellydance coin bra the other day, but have since stalled out due to the big sewing project. I keep trying new recipes to expand my culinary repertoire, but that's just taking up a lot of time and making me feel like I still have a long way to go before I'll have mastered anything at all in the kitchen. I feel like I could be making progress in learning tribal bellydance moves better, faster, more thoroughly if only I could practice, yet I don't make the time to do so. Then I get anxious about the possibility of trying out for the performing troupe here in a few weeks, feeling like I don't know enough to even consider trying out, and I'm back to wanting to practice and polish what I DO know, but instead spend half an hour watching videos on facebook instead.

Lack of focus.

It's even reflected in this here blog, where I've started a whole bunch of posts, only to leave them in draft limbo because I've lost inspiration or haven't taken the time to find the right photo, or I just feel like no one would want to read about that anyhow. A self-conscious blog is not a very good blog.

So. Here's where you, my few but loyal readers, come into play: what do you want to see here? I'll give you some of the draft ideas, but feel free to fill in whatever you want to hear me ramble/reminisce/rant about. Okay? Thanks.

Draft blog post ideas which are languishing in limbo:
  • prickly pears and memories of my great grandma
  • photos of the kids from our Maui trip
  • video of the kids at the beach in Maui
  • J's video of the sandalwood in Haleakala National Park
  • a weird dream I had about cheese-cavity-nesting bees
  • a post about citizen science, the Blackawton Bees, and a spring beauty project I've just volunteered for
  • adventures in my kitchen (or, how I'm teaching myself to more loosely follow recipes and improvise more)
or... ?

I don't know. What do you think?


Liv said...

It doesn't help that my list of Things To Do starts with: Finish PhD.
Ugh. And I swear a prolonged winter somehow saps out of me the last hint of motivation, and I am left checking to see if anyone else I happen to know (on facebook, in a blog, etc.) is more motivated than me.
My list also includes new culinary adventures in the kitchen, building a compost bin, getting the water heater up to code, practicing the piano, and reading a bazillion books.
If you figure out the cure, I am all ears. Each day it seems to get worse.

Anonymous said...

Hi :) I found you through Navelgazing Midwife's blog link post on FB... I thought I'd chime in with my two cents.
I am having the same problem right now - but watch, a month from now, things will calm down a bit and I'll be complaining that there's nothing to do (which doesn't mean that there is actually nothing to do - just nothing that I am *motivated* to do, lol).
I think that is the ebb and flow of life - sooner or later, inspiration will strike and things will get done double - quick!
Baby steps - one thing at a time :)

Anonymous said...

... Mothering Magazine's blog link post, sorry!

Lindsey said...

It's the weather! We want more pictures and videos of Cora! (me and ari)