For Doodle

"Read me books, Mama.
All these."
She points to the pile.
We snuggle up, her head on my shoulder
her legs curved around my belly,
around her sibling.

We cuddle and read
book after book after book
with breaks for "what's that?"
and
"oh no, is he okay?"
My compassionate little bookworm.

I feel her drifting off to sleep
lulled by my voice
and my presence.
I'm glad I'm here now.
I have things to do,
lists upon lists of urgent projects

but right now, she needs me

and I need her.
We need this.

Soon she'll be a big sister
with big sister feelings
and a big sister portion of my time.
But right now, here,
we cuddle.

I know I'll love another
just as much as her.
I'll love watching her
embrace her new role: big sister.
It's just so hard to imagine.
Hard to think about
my divided attention,
my divided time.

I promise her I'll do my best
and kiss her sweet, sleepy head
as I settle in
and drift off to sleep with my Doodle.

Right now...

...I have a sleeping, nursing toddler on my lap, a full bladder, and a hankering for some secretly stashed cookies.

...I'm pondering Israel & Palestine, and that region's tumultuous history.

...I'm wondering why I'm so nervous to try out the darn button-holer.

...I'm marveling at how big Doodle is and how good she smells.

...I'm bellydancing in my head to the music (also in my head).

....I'm enjoying the warmth from our south-facing window.

...I'm grateful to live the flexible life of a grad student.

...I know I'm pretty darn lucky.