Lack of Focus

If I were in school right now, "Mama Bee exhibits a lack of focus" would be written in big red letters on my report card. Or, neatly written in beautiful kindergarten-teacher penmanship after "Mama Bee is a delight to have in class, and is a bit of a social butterfly." (Yes, my kindergarten report card said I was a social butterfly. Blame it on being bored?)

I'm lacking focus, and it's driving me nuts. I have a billion projects in the works, but it feels like nothing is getting done. I'm in the thick of a big contracted (read: for pay!) sewing project, but still have a ways to go before it'll be done. I made a good start on my tribal bellydance coin bra the other day, but have since stalled out due to the big sewing project. I keep trying new recipes to expand my culinary repertoire, but that's just taking up a lot of time and making me feel like I still have a long way to go before I'll have mastered anything at all in the kitchen. I feel like I could be making progress in learning tribal bellydance moves better, faster, more thoroughly if only I could practice, yet I don't make the time to do so. Then I get anxious about the possibility of trying out for the performing troupe here in a few weeks, feeling like I don't know enough to even consider trying out, and I'm back to wanting to practice and polish what I DO know, but instead spend half an hour watching videos on facebook instead.

Lack of focus.

It's even reflected in this here blog, where I've started a whole bunch of posts, only to leave them in draft limbo because I've lost inspiration or haven't taken the time to find the right photo, or I just feel like no one would want to read about that anyhow. A self-conscious blog is not a very good blog.

So. Here's where you, my few but loyal readers, come into play: what do you want to see here? I'll give you some of the draft ideas, but feel free to fill in whatever you want to hear me ramble/reminisce/rant about. Okay? Thanks.

Draft blog post ideas which are languishing in limbo:

• prickly pears and memories of my great grandma
• photos of the kids from our Maui trip
• video of the kids at the beach in Maui
• J's video of the sandalwood in Haleakala National Park
• a weird dream I had about cheese-cavity-nesting bees
• a post about citizen science, the Blackawton Bees, and a spring beauty project I've just volunteered for
• adventures in my kitchen (or, how I'm teaching myself to more loosely follow recipes and improvise more)

or... ?

I don't know. What do you think?